Today I thought that I would get a little real here on my blog, have some real talk about some anxiety and depression issues that I have been going through and talk about how that has been affecting my writing and art.
So yes, I suffer from anxiety and depression both. Usually my anxiety spirals out of control until depression hits. Then I calm down and it all starts all over. Sometimes there are triggers that I can identify, sometimes there aren't. My depression has been rather bad for a couple of weeks, then I had a very emotional weekend and now today is a real struggle. Now here is something that people don't understand, even good changes and emotions can become overwhelming for me and send my anxiety sky high while adding to my depression as well. So something good actually sent me this low, well then last night I found out some sad and disturbing news that has just made today difficult.
So how does this affect my writing and art? Well I am finding it hard to concentrate and to even motivate myself to get up and do anything. I managed to make it through my day job and to get some exercise in. That's it. Now I am trying to write this blog. I should have picked a topic that promoted my books or writing in some way, but all my mind can think about is the spiral of worry and doubt that it is stuck in. That will make it really hard to write, but I will try to anyways and I guess see where it goes.
Why such a private topic? One as I mentioned that is where my mind is. Two I have been talking to the writing community on Twitter about mental illness and how it affects us as authors. I thought that I would carry that topic over to my blog. I have been trying to add more about mental illness into my writing this year, helping to make my writing more representative and more authentic to who I am as a person. This is where I am today, depressed and anxious, but still trying to write no matter how hard it is.
This year I started a new adventure, a YouTube channel that combines a lot of my passions. I talk about books, writing, gaming, painting and more, all while whispering and providing other ASMR sounds. It's a channel that is very me! Here are a couple of my latest videos in case you interested in check them out! Thanks!
I am so excited that I have quite a short stories coming out this year in several anthologies. The next two to be coming out will be the Flash Fiction Addition coming out April 15th and a soon to be entitled zombie horror anthology that should be out very soon as well! Then I have a supernatural short story and a very short story on witches already accepted and will be out later this year. I also have three stories out on submission and will be writing about three more over the next couple of months! I just love writing short fiction and I am so incredibly lucky to have had so many of stories accepted over the past couple of years!
Back in January I committed to working on some fitness goals once more after some health set backs. I started off slow and have had to take a few extra rest days over the past two months, but I am starting to see some progress at last! The best thing is that I have strengthened and gotten full movement back in my left leg, something that gave me trouble last year. I am moving better and feel better than I have in a long time. I am also finally starting to see some definition in my legs and abs. This month I am adding some more arm work and hope to tone those up as well. I have even lost a few pounds. I am really working on cleaning up my diet now in addition to the consistent exercise plan I am following. I am also adding in some yoga, for mind and body improvement. I have a long ways to go until I will be to my goal weight, but I am seeing progress and that is only encouraging me to keep at it. Sure exercise takes some time away from my writing and art, especially when I throw the day job into the mix, but taking care of myself is important for my creative self as well as my physical health. I feel clearer and am writing more than I have in a long time.
For those interested in what is working for me, I have been doing workouts from the Leslie Sansone Walk at Home App. Its only 4.99 a month and I have really seen the difference by working out consistently. (I am just happy with the app, I am getting nothing from this plug.) I have only worked up to two miles most days and I have added one pound weighted gloves every other workout. I still have a lot of room to grow with this program and I am super happy about that. My goal is to get up to 4-5 miles most days of the week. Very doable, especially since I am slowly working my way up. I do Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube. I am also intermittent fasting and lowering carbs. Not cutting carbs completely, just lowering them especially at dinner time. This is what is working for me. Nothing too crazy or dangerous. My results are coming slowly and that makes me think it will last.
I am so excited to be able to share the cover reveal for my upcoming fantasy novella Port Stone: Dangers of the Swamp! I am in the middle of edits for this novella and hope to have not only a release date but a preorder link available soon! I just couldn't wait to share this cover though! I am so proud of this novella, which will be a three part series, that has strong female warriors in a fantasy setting. I plan to have the two sequels both out later this year, I am about 5000 words into book two right now. The cover artist for this cover is Lillian Rose Asterois and you can find her at: https://www.facebook.com/lillianscovers/.
For the past few years I have not necessarily been happy with myself and where I was in life, so I decided to make some changes. Now I know that change can be a scary word, but to me I think that change can be a very good and necessary thing. So I have been taking steps to get where I want to be.
First I have been exercising on a consistent basis since about mid-January and I am finally starting to see some progress. First I have gained back some mobility that I had lost due to health issues. I feel stronger each and every day and I move so much better. I am also seeing my body start to tone up and I am feeling better about myself than I have in a long time. I still have a long way to go, but I think that I am on the right path to eventually get there.
I have also been able to get my writing back on track. I have struggled with word count for quite some time, but lately I have been starting to write more and more each month. I am working on more than one project at a time and that is helping me keep writing on a consistent basis. If I get stuck on one project, well then I work on another until I figure out what needs to be done on the first one. I think that this will really help me make this a much better writing year!
Making these changes is sometimes hard. Sometimes I don't want to exercise or write, but I know that I will feel so much better once I do. Am I where I want to be? No, but I am moving in the right direction and that makes me feel so much better.
Since my latest release, the horror anthology Pandemic, is out now I thought that I would share all of the horror anthologies that I have been in over the past couple of years. Grab one or more and they are sure to help move your workweek along!
Viruses, infection, disease...there are hospitals that see it all, from the mild to the deadly. Dare you take a step into the unknown to find out what that affliction is and how it will destroy?
Dr. Frank N Steen by C.L. Williams
Welcome to the Age of the Unwell by Sheri Velarde
Hand Of An Alien by Armand Rosamilia
Just Awhile Longer by Kally Jo Surbeck
Dream Come True by McKenzie Richardson
By the Skin by Katie Jaarsveld
Meadowlands Room by Chuck Buda
The Patient by Xander Price
The Enemy Within by Alex Winck
Black Friday by Jace Fox
Affliction by Samie Sands
Pity by Danny Campbell
Spread the Infection by C.L. Williams
Test Subjects Wanted by Sheri Velarde
Outbreak by Samie Sands
Evil is everywhere, you cannot escape it, there are things in this world that we simply cannot understand. Do you dare dive into the unknown, to explore the supernatural, to find where Evil Lurks?
Cat Food by Armand Rosamilia
Anzu Rediscovered by C.L. Williams
Elementals by Katie Jaarsveld
The Town That Hell Spat Out by Kevin S. Hall
A Break In by McKenzie Richardson
The Revelation by Lachelle Redd
The Grey Man by Sheri Velarde
Onryo by Samie Sands
The Spark of Creation by McKenzie Richardson
Ghost in the Machine by Rick Eddy
Spirit of Lonely Places by Michele Jones
Heartbreaker by Kevin S. Hall
My Paranormal Romance by McKenzie Richardson
The Statue by Dave J. Suscheck
Life In There by Katie Jaarsveld
Cursed Document by Samie Sands
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Doomsday...the end of the world is here, but how will the apocalypse happen? Will it be viral, an explosion, or simply human nature that destroys us? Read on, you might be surprised...
Home, Sweet Post-Apocalyptic Home by Alex Winck
Antidote by Samie Sands
From Strange to Indifferent by Katie Jaarsveld
Interim by Stefan Vucak
A Forever Kind of Love by Andrew Darlington
Talking Bodies by M. Earl Smith
Where the Water Is by Sheri Velarde
But a Whimper by Rick Eddy
The Countess Consuela by Michael Peirce
On Trial by Samie Sands
Thoughts of Memory by Andrew J Lucas and Natalie A. Lucas
Praying To Die by Fernanda Oz
Nightmare Rising by McKenzie Richardson
The Last of the Regulars by Andy Lockwood
What is your biggest fear? Delve into these nightmares and phobias to see if you can handle it!
Addiction by M. Earl Smith
Who’s Afraid of a Stupid Clown by Alex Winck
Entomophobia by Katie Jaarsveld
The Pond by Rob Shepherd
The Price of Greed by Sheri Velarde
Sleeping Cyberbeauty by Alex Winck
Triskaidekaphobia by Samie Sands
Reflection by Rick Eddy
Heliophobia by Fernanda Oz
The Second Clourophobia Massacre by Kevin Hall
Nightwalk by Stefan Vucak
The Symbiote by Alex Winck
Threshold Dreams by McKenzie Richardson
The Hunt by Dave Suscheck
Fear by Kally Jo Surbeck
The Reason We Run by TW Iain
Time and Rewind by Katie Jaarsveld
Wide Awake by James Bryant
"Anytime you give an electronic device a brain, it has the capabilities to outgrow the possibilities that were set forth in the plans."
The Unit by Katie Jaarsveld
Catfish by Samie Sands
From the Depths by McKenzie Richardson
Viral Venom by Alex Winck
Everything Has a Price by Sheri Velarde
Domain of the Dragon by L.H. Davis
Fulfilling Killingsby M Earl Smith
My Skin Crawls by Katie Jaarsveld
Touch by TW Iain
My Name Is Human by Rob Shepherd
Dark Web Demon by Kevin S. Hall
Ocean’s Bounty by Andrew J Lucas
Only .99 cents and available on Kindle Unlimited! Also available in paperback!
Author, artist, jewelry maker and all around creative person. I write in many genres and have a lot of fun doing so. Please take a look around and enjoy!