Art and self doubt seem to go hand in hand, at least I know that they do for me. The thing is I am not alone in this aspect. Many artist suffer from self doubt, sometimes to the point that its crippling. What is it about the creative mind that leads it to doubt itself? I wish I knew the answer and how to stop doubting myself and my artistic endeavors.
So what do I do when self doubt comes knocking? Well when I start to feel like I am the worst author in the world, when I feel like no one will ever want to read my books, when I feel like people are laughing behind my back about my art, I tend to go into a downward spiral of despair. I usually wallow in the feeling of not being good enough for quite some time, fighting to pull myself out of my funk. It's hard to get out of that mindset, but I struggle until I feel some confidence slipping back in.
How do I get my confidence back? Sometimes it helps for me to look at cold hard facts. Like the number of readers on this blog for instance. All of the books that I have already published and sold. Sometimes I remember that many great artists feel the same way and yet they continue to make art. Sometimes looking at art, listening to music, or reading great books can pull me out of my own mind for it is my mind that is my biggest enemy at times.
So my fellow creatives reading this, do you sometimes suffer from self doubt? How do you get your confidence back when it strikes? What helps you stop the doubt in its tracks?
Tomorrow night, Feb 17 is the closing night reception for the Let's Get Naked Again art show that I am so proud to be a part of! I hope to see you this Sat night from 5-9p! Many pieces of art are still available for sale. Light refreshments are available for our guests. The OT Circus galley is located between the Hotel Blue and Firestone Tires at 709 Central Ave NW ::: ABQ
Please come out and support local artists! Here is my naked blue tiefling that was my contribution to the show!
I am happy to announce that I will be part of the "Let's Get Naked Again" Art show tomorrow night at the OT Circus Gallery here in Albuquerque. I will have one piece in the show and another available as part of the raffle. Now this is a show of nude artwork, so 18 and above only! Come down and see what I have created and check out so many other talented artists! Want more info?
Here is the FB event page: www.facebook.com/events/145300539589716
October has been a rough month this far, but I have been pretty happy that I have been able to keep up with my Drawlloween challenge thus far. Sometimes that means sketching on a napkin or on ticket stubs at work, but I am getting stuff done! Here are a few of my sketches thus far.
It's October so that means that I am participating in Drawlloween again this year! Each week I will have a wrap up of my sketches for the week. I love this time of year as it gives me a reason to do art each and every day. Sometimes I need a little push for my art practice and this is always just what I need. To make it even more fun, one and sometimes two of my friends tend to do this challenge with me. We provide each other with encouragement and accountability, plus it's awesome to just see what they draw. If you want to come along for the ride, here is the schedule, you can always catch up!
I am working hard on some watercolor paintings for an upcoming Halloween art show at the OT Circus Art Gallery here in Albuquerque. I am so excited to be part of this show and here is a peak at 3 of the 5 pieces that I might be taking to this show. You can get more information on the event here:
This has been a rather hard week for me, especially on the creative side of life. I have been struggling with some health issues. My depression and anxiety have been pretty bad. I have also been suffering from some crippling self doubt when it comes to art and writing of late. Monday I seriously thought that I was having a complete breakdown. I doubted if I should continue art and writing. Maybe it is time to give up all these creative dreams and just get a full time job and be done with everything.
I think that all creative people go through these times of self doubt. As an author I have contemplated giving up before. It is sometimes hard to have the thick skin needed to be in this business. Rejection slips, bad reviews (and sometimes just plain mean reviews. I know that not every book is for everyone and I feel that constructive criticism is something one can learn from, but some reviewers get too personal and are just mean spirited. Not liking a book is not a reason to say terrible things about an author you have never met.), trolls who will bad mouth you for not giving them a free book or for not being who they think you should be, stalkers (yes I have had two), constant pressure to be on social media and more. It's a hard life sometimes, especially when it seems fewer and fewer people are reading nowadays. I have even given up writing before for short amounts of time, but I think that writing is in my blood and I keep coming back. I am still doubting myself right now, but I am back to blogging and editing and writing won't be far behind. I am fighting my self doubt the best way that I can.
Now when it comes to doubting my art, well that is harder to overcome sometimes. I am not very confident in my artistic skills. Art for me is usually a form of stress relief, yet I still want to be better at it. A few years ago I tried to take a class at my local community college, to work on improving myself and my art. The teacher instead of focusing on whether I had improved from day one, kept comparing me to someone whom we both knew, someone who had a bachelor's degree in art. I was not competing with an art graduate, I wanted to be better than I had been, but this teacher crushed me and left me feeling less than confident. I still feel that crushing of talent even though I continue to practice art on my own almost every day. Sure, I have even sold some art, but I always feel like that teacher was basically telling me that I will never be a good artist and that I should just give up. That is where I am at right now art wise, thinking I should give up art or at the very least never show anyone my art ever again.
I'm hoping that talking about this helps get me out of my funk. That some self confidence slowly starts to seep back into my being. Until then I guess I need to fake it until I make it?
A week from today I will be signing books at the BMG Fan Fest here in Albuquerque! I will also be selling art and jewelry! Come out and support local artists of all genres, cosplay, and just have some fun! Hope to see you there! More info on the event here at their fb page: https://www.facebook.com/events/1914942332119340/
So just a couple months ago my big dog Charlie needed to have some skin cancer removed along with a dental procedure. Now it seems to be my little dog Eowyn's turn. She needs to go in for a dental procedure later this month, so that means I need to earn some extra money to help pay for her procedure. So that means I am selling lots off art and jewelry at discount prices! If you see anything that you like, please let me know. I also do commissions for both art and jewelry. Below are some of the items that I have available. Just message me about anything that you like! I need to raise at least $350 for the procedure, so every dollar helps!
As some of you that read this blog on a regular basis, I am trying to focus a little more time on my art. What better way to do that than to agree to take part in a group art show at a local gallery? So that is what I did. This October I will be part of a Halloween themed show. I need to get 5 pieces painted before then. Eek! A gallery show? It almost makes me feel like a real artist! Right now I am just in the sketching and ideas phase, but here are a couple quick sketches that I hope to turn into watercolor paintings later this month. Still thinking on the other three ideas. Shout out in the comments on what kind of Halloween paintings you would love to see. These are very rough sketches, I will take a lot more time for the actual paintings!
Author, artist, jewelry maker and all around creative person. I write in many genres and have a lot of fun doing so. Please take a look around and enjoy!